Some will say that we have not completely abandoned courtship in our society, but rather have included courtship in courtship. In other words, dating has become an extra layer in our dating process. Yes, a courtship and dating relationship may seem similar, especially if the person enters the dating scene with the intention of finding a partner they will eventually marry, but if they don`t, “for fun” dating might simply extend to the pool of superficial partners. I have often been asked this question. Is there really a difference between dating someone and courting? Can`t I go out with several guys to find the right one for me? Can I choose the man I want to marry or wait for God`s perfect will? Some of the most common problems that occur with Christian encounters are that people don`t protect their hearts enough. By going out more and jumping into the romance phase much faster, it`s easier to raise your hopes and hurt yourself when things don`t work out. Since there is more freedom to date whomever you want without testing that person more in friendship, there is also a higher risk of having a lot of bad dating experiences. Finally, since responsibility and the Christian community are not put forward as much in encounters, the probability of sexual promiscuity is often greater than in advertising. However, those who date usually feel very comfortable with the opposite sex and have healthier and more realistic views on relationships and the opposite sex. The relationship experiences they have dating prepare them and give them relationship skills that they will benefit from later when they meet their future spouse.
You may think that there is a way to have aspects of both regular dating and Christian courtship within a relationship – they exist because every relationship and circumstance is different. Advertising cultivates a deep sense of emotional closeness that isn`t really the scene around dating, because when it comes to dating, people tend to hold back their emotions pretty well for many reasons. Dating is more of a modern trend that defines everything from connection to relationship, making it hard to navigate. For some, dating is purely physical, so they don`t feel anything. In fact, it is a form of courtship, but without the emotional part. Courting means developing a deep relationship before getting married. Christian courtship is only for Christians who are mature enough to marry. For example, you wouldn`t be courting in high school because you wouldn`t get married in high school. When you are courting, you are saying that you are ready for marriage. Not only are you ready for marriage in general, but you also say that you believe you want to marry the person you are courting and that you will go through this intense period to see if a wedding should take place. Courtship is a relationship between a man and a woman in their early stages of development, in which they get to know each other and develop a deep relationship so that they can specifically explore the possibility of marriage.
Dating, on the other hand, is a modern relationship trend, a stage in which couples meet socially or regularly to see if they have a chance to be together. The meaning of dating varies for everyone: Dating can mean that you occasionally see someone or that you date someone specific and serious. Instead of being cautious when pursuing romantic relationships, it`s easier for couples to treat dating as they were striving to get the perfect pair of jeans – the ones that don`t fit are put aside until we find the right one. Most of the time, according to cultural norms, when a romantic relationship has become serious, the two have become physically intimate with each other and can live together. Sometimes the relationship doesn`t have to be serious at all for physical intimacy. During the advertising period, the focus is on accountability, transparency and the protection of your heart. Time alone is frowned upon and mentoring with an elderly couple is ideal. Due to the prolonged friendship phase and all the time and preparation that was spent on the relationship before the ad even started, the ad is usually much shorter than the dating and usually lasts between 6 months and 1 year before the engagement. Christian courtship emphasizes a pre-courtship phase in which friendship and group activities are valued before any kind of romantic interest is expressed. “Keep your heart” is strongly emphasized, so it would be frowned upon to go on a date with a man or girl without committing to him or her.
Those who promote advertising claim that you can get to know someone better without engaging romantically. Before engaging in courtship, you should monitor this person closely and establish a relationship with that person in the safety of a Christian community and only in group settings. In a romantic relationship, there is little or no responsibility for the couple and little or no interaction with family members. The couple in love is simply attracted to each other in one way or another and often pursues an exclusive relationship independent of the influence or advice of others. Since the boundaries of the relationship are self-determined, the couple can easily succumb to temptation and not consider their responsibility to honor each other in purity and genuine love. In the following sections, I do not advocate any approach or say that all of this is biblical. Rather, I will describe these approaches as I understand them. At the very end, I will share my thoughts and beliefs with you.
The practice of casual dating in our society does not seem to help establish strong, healthy, committed and lasting relationships. In fact, the dating scene seems to have become more complicated, confusing, and lonely for many people, as more and more people remain single much longer than previous generations. Statistically, Americans are waiting longer than ever to get married. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age of first marriage for women in 2017 was 27.4 years. In men, it is even older at 29.5 years. Although it is said that the divorce rate in America is declining, 40 to 50 percent of marriages still end in divorce. .
gepubliceerd op 16 april 2022